HOW UNEMPLOYMENT HAS MADE ME FEEL

I wanted to share this post and be honest as I can with you as being ‘unemployed’ is not something I want to be ashamed of. I’ve been working my little ass off all year and I’ve achieved many things of which I’m proud of.

Firstly, let me explain how I got to where I am now:

I’ve now been unemployed for just shy of 2 weeks, it wasn’t a shock as such due to the nature of my job. The work I do is seasonal so my role is only needed from February to November, leaving me with an empty 10ish weeks. It’s no way disastrous as I know I have employment to go back to in a short amount of time, it’s just waiting the winter out and deciding the most valuable way to spend my time.

A few weeks prior to the end of my contract I had interviewed for a full-time position which I had a lot of hope strung on, unfortunately, I wasn’t successful. (you might have seen me tweet about this). I did have a mini-breakdown over this as I couldn’t bring myself to get a retail Christmas job as shops are just hellish this time of year.

I decided that instead of getting a job that would make me miserable and take a toll on my mental health I would spend my time doing things to make me happy. A few things on my list were, spending time with family, working on my socials, making some Christmas presents, doing more exercise and reading more. This sounded like a top plan however I’ve found myself not getting out of bed until 12 as I have nothing to get up for; I still set an alarm, it goes off and I think ‘I don’t want to start the day yet’. I’ll then get ready and do a few useful bits and bobs with my time, but a few hours later it’s dark and it feels like PJ time. In my head, I’ve wasted the whole day and then I struggle to get to sleep. As you could imagine this doesn’t do any wonders for my mental health.

I’ve decided that from tomorrow onwards I’m going to start vlogging, this way I can document the festive time with my family and it’ll give me a reason to get up earlier. I’d love to be one of those people who attend the early bird swim sessions at 7am as I think it’s such a healthy way to start the day off. I’m also going to start writing myself a to-do list of 3 things in the morning so I then have a sense of accomplishment by the evening.

That’s a very brief plan for the next month but I’m hoping it’s enough to keep me in a positive headspace. I’ve also got my fingers crossed that I can pick up the odd bit of Blog & Instagram work to give myself a little extra cash to spend at this time to help me out. I would also love to be able to do some sponsored posts so when you get the dreaded Christmas questions from far relatives such as: ‘Why aren’t you working?’ ‘What are you actually doing with your time?’, I can come back with I’ve been doing some paid work for my online blog. This would then take me from feel ashamed to like a badass and that’s a feeling I want so pls support me lol.

If you currently don’t have a job or have previously faced unemployment I’d be interested in hearing how it made you feel and how you coped with it?

Bryony x

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4 Comments

  1. December 3, 2019 / 7:34 pm

    Oh gosh, I’ve been unemployed since July. It’s been so tough. I’m starting something soon but it’s not a dream job by any means. I think we are all sort of used to defining ourselves by what we do. Working at least for me defines me value and worth. When I’m unemployed it feels like I’m taking from the society and not contributing anything. I totally agree that mental health and looking after yourself is super important. I turned out jobs and interviews when I felt they would just make me feel miserable. I think happiness should always come first. Best of luck!

    Laura / http://www.laustworld.com

  2. December 3, 2019 / 9:25 pm

    I went through several periods of unemployment and I literally was the exact same as yourself. Found myself sleeping in and then thinking ‘what is the point in getting up now, itll be dark again soon’. It is a horrible rut that I was stuck in and, like yourself, I did set alarms but just still felt the exact same. One thing that I do have now, which helps a lot, is a dog.. a spaniel to be precise and so she needs a lot of walking. I still feel I do sleep in a bit as going through an unemployed period just now but knowing that someone in the house relies on me to wake up, feed and walk her, has helped massively! This post is so relatable and I want to thank you for it as it made me realise that everyone has days and times like that, so thanks!

    • bbbryony
      Author
      December 11, 2019 / 6:25 pm

      aww it so nice to see that i’m not alone and someone else has felt this way too so thank you x

  3. December 11, 2019 / 8:25 pm

    I am going through this right now, endlessly job hunting. I’ve applied to over 600 places on Linkedin alone. Keeping that positive headspace that you mentioned is honestly everything because this experience kills your emotions. Keep working on your blog, do what makes you happy! Proud of you xx

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